This is Why You’re Single
It’s easy to see the title of this post and go right in to, “YOU DON’T KNOW ME, COPELAND!!!” mode, and if you did, I can’t blame you. But as I type these words, I feel the glow of possessed realizations and answered questions. I have discovered the secret glue that holds our singleness suspended there in the metaphorical space of our lives. You can scoff and you can throw your mocking laughs my way, but I have the answer you may be looking for.
Each of us is different and each of us possesses a number of special traits that make us who we are. And though some of us lean the same way in our tastes of this and that, each of us has our own romantic past and path that has lead us to where we stand now as unattached, single people. Yet, though we each have our own purpose for our relational standing at this moment in time, we are all single for the exact same reason.
Would you like to know what that reason is? I’ll share it with you if you really want to know. Okay, fine. Here it is:
You are single simply because you choose to be.
Go ahead and laugh at the simplicity of this truth, but once its vibrant honesty has settled around you, you will appreciate what we have learned here today.
Some choose to refrain from having a relationship and that is, of course, more than fine. I am in that camp myself.
But this truth is for those who want a relationship yet don’t have it as of now. They want to be in a partnership with another human being because they want to feel connected and cared for in a romantic way. It’s a desire they have for their life.
You may think I’m crazy for stating the above, but when you consider it, you may realize I’m on to something. Being single is your own choice because any of us could lower our requirements or standards and be with someone who we feel isn’t right for us. We have that option if it’s what we really wanted to do. We could accept someone’s, anyone’s hand and be in a relationship if we so chose. I mean, anyone can find a romantic partner if they don’t have a standard to meet. It just takes a willing mind and/or body. We just wouldn’t be happy or satisfied with such a lacking union, right?
But we don’t jump into such rushed romance because we have a certain criteria a person has to meet before we’ll consider them as a possibility. We have a level of behavior, looks, personality, and preferences we will not dip below. And that is a very, very good thing.
You may feel lonely and even incomplete because you’re without a romantic partner right now, but I encourage you to remember that though life can be lonely and the feelings may not be positive in this moment, it’s better to wait for someone who’s able to come close to what you want rather than settle for someone who isn’t able to fulfill anything of what you want. You’re worth the wait for something good; I promise you that. So uphold those standards you’ve set for yourself and know that your fortitude will be rewarded when the time is right.
Your being single isn’t a curse; it’s a choice you’re making for your own good. Remember that and keep the faith that you will someday have all the relational happiness you can possibly handle.
Twitter: @Cory_Copeland
Reblogged this on Fine and Dandy… Mostly and commented:
Cory Copeland reads my diary. It’s a fact. Hahahaha.
Got immediately and disproportionately offended when I read “You are single simply because you choose to be.”
But then I read the rest of it and okay okay I get it. Real talk.
That was similar to my reaction, too. In fact, I really didn’t want to read the article, but sometimes I need that reminder that being in a relationship doesn’t mean my life is better.
When we lower our standards, we are taking matters into our own hands and relationships were never meant for humans to control; relationships were always meant to be woven and carved out by God. Why we are single…because we have chosen to wait for God to write our love stories…our own versions aren’t very creative.
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What if there are no hands to stoop to?!? You don’t know me Coopland!
As I read this, I realize that in the past few days, I’ve come to the conclusion that I reallly am one of, if not the pickest girl I know when it comes to guys. Yes, some maybe based on looks and appearance but once I get past that, I hold prospective men to the standards or morals that I have lived by: little to no drinking, no drug use, no former partners in sexual ways. When I say that I want a guy version of me, I mean it on not a physical thing but spiritual and emotional too. And yes, I have realized and accepted that I am single because I choose to be. I have always had crazy standards and I’m starting to be really thankful for those and my parents, family, and church people that have taught me to keep my standards and not change them for any man. *Sigh* I FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHY GOD MADE ME STUBBORN!
Thank you.
Girl I know, Yeah I know.
Yup!
Cory, you rule. The posts are spot-on. Thanks for the kind words and encouragement coupled with humor. I always need it!
Thank you, Logan! I appreciate that.
I agree completely, I’ve often said this same thing to those around me who call me “picky” or say “You could learn to love this person..”
No. I’m not picky or unsure in what I want. I am single because I know I’m worth more than just dating around and giving a piece of myself here and there to guys who don’t have a likely chance of being the person I need. My heart and mind are open and ready for the person that I need to walk into my life. He just hasn’t walked in yet. =)