This past week, I wrote and posted a story I thought was about forgiveness and redemption. The story told the tale of a fictional good girl who gave in to the pressures of a boy and because the resulting guilt was too much for her to handle, she became a person she wasn’t proud of.
Through telling of this tale, it was my intention to show that no matter what you’ve done or how far you feel you’ve fallen, God is there to offer His forgiveness; all you have to do is ask. The act of consent to that boy’s abuse was simply a catalyst for the person the good girl became.
And yet, as I read through the comments of the post, I found that the responses were split; some readers enjoyed a story of redemption and forgiveness because they themselves had been where that good girl had been, while others decided to focus their energy on the part of the story where the boy pressures the girl into giving up her purity. This angered them and boy, did they let me know it.
Throughout the afternoon on Friday, I read comments and tweets accusing me of placing the blame on victims of abuse, supporting men who pressure women into sex, and even believing in the abuse of women as a whole.
At first, I wanted to fight (literally) every person (mostly females) who would accuse me of such despicable beliefs. I began to argue that my story (or the story I had written) wasn’t about the abuse, but about the grace and redemption available to us. But these passionate few wouldn’t hear it. They chose to focus their anger and resentment on the part of the story they most closely related with; the part of the story where a boy gets what he wants from a girl by abusing her emotionally and mentally. And you know what? I get what they were trying to say. I understand now (Just to be clear, I don’t expect this post to change anyone’s opinion of me. That is a lost cause).
But I won’t apologize for what I wrote in that piece. I believe that each of us needs to be reminded that God forgives and redeems us regardless of the sins we commit. No, I’m not suggestion that giving in to abuse of any sort is a sin; I’m suggesting that when we’ve sinned, we are able to be forgiven should we simply ask. If you can’t see the goodness in a story like that, then it’s possible that your focus is only slightly off-center.
Lastly, I want to make sure that it’s understood that I, in no way, support the type of men who would abuse a woman to get what he wants out of her. Those types of males aren’t men at all, but cowards who prey on women for their own benefit. That both angers and upsets me.
Ladies, if you’ve previously given in to the abuse (of any kind) of a man, please know that you are not at fault in any way. You are worth more than some pathetic excuse for a man would allow you to believe. Your relenting doesn’t make you a horrible person or even a sinner; it only (hopefully) makes you wiser and more courageous.
Thank you for allowing me to speak my mind.
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