I’ve discovered something about myself during the last few months or so:
Yup, it’s official. As a man, I was hoping it was just a seasonal thing like the Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks, but I’m afraid I am doomed to the fate of being an emotional basket case for the rest of my life. But, either way, I feel like I need to grow a beard or chop some wood or go buy something from Home Depot.
Even as I type this, I’m wishing there was a manly way of letting you beautiful people know that I cried yesterday after watching a clip from “A Walk to Remember.” I’m not sure why this is, really, other than a growing understanding that this season of life has just been difficult.
Maybe you can relate.
For me, the combination of a failed relationship, constant car trouble, growing up, moving out and preparing to leave for a 2 ½ month long summer job away from family and friends, have forced my emotions get the best of me. I’ve been faced with lots of questions about who I am, who I want to be and how the heck I’ve found myself where I am.
Here I sit, letting valuable life lessons pass me by in the name of trying to measure up to somebody – anybody – who can validate me and tell me I can do this on my own.
And in the middle of all the chaos, the mess, the insecurity and the doubt, I’m reminded of a simple truth that I too often forget:
Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to the power that is at work within us. –Ephesians 3:20
The best 2 words of this verse?
Think about it – not according to what we did last year or what happened to us last month or what we’ll do when we get a college degree or when we figure out who we are. NOPE! According to the power that is AT WORK – right now, currently – within us right where we are.
Whether we are living in beauty or terror, joy or anxiety, emotion or apathy, faith or fear, God is currently at work within us. He is molding and shaping and helping and loving and doing things bigger than we can possibly imagine.
That, my friends, is beautiful.
Living in a world driven by standards and outcomes and results, we Christians have become far too destination-oriented. That’s dangerous. Why? Because God doesn’t work that way.
We are a destination-oriented people serving a journey-oriented God.
We always seem to focus on an outcome. We look past the present to focus on the future. We try and try and try to meet standards and live up to other people’s expectations all the while forgetting that we have the Creator of the Universe working on our behalf right. Where. We. Are.
You see, I’m learning that my current emotional state is not a curse, but an opportunity to notice that everything I’m trying to do is worthless if I don’t have the guts to face the fact that God is the one doing it through me.
I’m done with standards. I’m finished with trying to measure up. I’m tired of worthless expectations that do nothing but glorify myself and my feeble attempt to make something of this life I have been given.
The more we try to live up to a standard, the less we are able to live for a Savior.
Let go of the standard and focus on the God who died so you didn’t have to measure up. Stop trying to find the outcome and focus on the moment.
As Christians, we have the living, breathing God AT WORK within us right now. Live like you believe it.