Should Christians be Cussing?
Have you ever seen the classic Christmas film Home Alone? (Yes, it’s a classic.) I hope the answer is yes because that film should be a staple for every family’s movie viewing during the holidays. I mean, it’s a little kid getting the better of two middle aged, bumbling crooks, while also beating the living crap out of them. What’s not to love?
The best part of Home Alone isn’t Kevin McCallister bludgeoning Harry and Marv into painful oblivion (although that never gets old, let’s be honest). It’s the fact that Joe Pesci—he of classic foul-mouthed films such as Goodfellas, Casino, and Raging Bull, etc.—couldn’t use the language he normally would because he was in a “family” film. According to the story, the director got him to quit cussing on camera by asking him (nicely, I assume) to say “fridge” instead of the other f-word. That, coupled with random strings of consonants bunched together as filler, left the once imposing bad guy spouting nothing but mouthfuls of gibberish as he’s beaten, bloodied, and set on fire. It’s hilarious.
And although I’d like to say I keep my language in restraints like ol’ Harry did, with meaningless gibberish taking the place of more colorful words, the truth is that from time to time, I let a word or two slip that I would not want my grandmother hearing. It’s usually not a conscious decision to do so (okay, sometimes it is…), but nevertheless, in those fleeting moments of private frustration, I become a cussing Christian.
Now, as someone who was raised in the Church, I’ve been taught and deeply believe that each person is responsible for deciding which convictions they will abide by in their life. The way the Bible is interpreted is relative to the individual (hence many, many different religions and sects of Christianity), so it’s possible—and highly likely—that you and I may not agree on what does or does not constitute a sin. From my experience, the use of modern day curse words is one such subject.
In today’s post-modern cultural of Christianity, some maintain that even though they are designated to be “bad” by man and not God, certain words shouldn’t be uttered. And then there are those that believe because God’s law and opinion supersede that of man, the use of curse words is not a direct conflict to their Christianity. Each side makes plenty of valid points in their argument, yet maybe the subject of “cussing” isn’t a matter of right or wrong, sin or no sin, but rather a matter of discipleship.
It wouldn’t take much for me to throw scriptures forward about how we are to be “in” this world but not “of” it. It’s the ready-made defense for those who wish to explain why they do and do not do things. But the truth remains that as Christians, we are called—and even commanded—to exude the change we’ve taken on once the cloak of salvation covers us. In the most rudimentary of explanations, we are to behave as Christ did—we are to be Christ-like. And while it’s true that He hung out with a crowd of less-than-desirable characters, I can’t see Jesus Christ using epithets to get a point across to His disciples or a crowd of believers. It’s within that inherent desire to be more like Him where we should be able to discover whether our actions affect our everyday ministry or not. Is our Christian message discounted when a non-believer hears us using the same type of language they do? How are we being “different” (read: Christ-like) if parts of our behavior are no different than those of someone who doesn’t subscribe to the teachings of Christ?
As we develop in our walk with God, whether as a new convert or someone who’s been a Christian all their life, He is constantly molding and shaping us into what will best suit His plan for our life. It’s a necessary and welcomed change from what we used to be. And during this change, the old parts of our life tend to fall away, making way for the grace and forgiveness He affords us.
Yet, with Christianity’s still-not-quite-cool-enough reputation in today’s mainstream culture—and there’s no denying this to be true—it’s likely some of us make a subconscious decision to keep using a more “worldly” vocabulary as a means of simply staying relevant. Whether it’s the individual wanting to fit in with a crowd or a creative type (blogger, musician, preacher, teacher, etc.) wanting to reach a bigger chunk of the population so that they may cultivate a larger audience, a need to be accepted exists. Perhaps the result of that desire is our showing we’re not part of the Christian reputation by being more accessible to the non-believer. I suppose it can be considered a method or technique of reaching the lost, but then again, how are we showing the difference God has made in our life if there’s no actual difference to show?
Maybe cussing really isn’t that big of a deal. It certainly doesn’t top most “DO NOT DO” lists; actions speak far louder than words, after all. But doesn’t it make sense that if we’re to be examples of God’s ability to not only redeem but also thoroughly change, we should conduct ourselves as such? I think so.
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Great post, Cory! And, somewhat interesting story about Goodfellas, I’d heard so many good things about it (but nothing about the language) that a few years ago I rented it from Blockbuster and watched it with my parents. Needless to say, they weren’t too pleased in my movie choice and went upstairs after about an hour. *awkward*
Haha I can imagine that situation to be very awkward indeed.
-C
Great thoughts amigo. I did a similar post a while back, and it’s good to hear your opinion. Keep on truckin’ with then fancy words! (Working on fitting into the south haha.)
Haha Thanks, brother.
A very interesting post. For myself, I’ve always found that insults along the lines of Shakespeare cut deeper than small words that have been overused by all. The real issue is why we find the need to use these words, no matter if they’re deemed socially acceptable or not. Because we are supposed to be “set apart” and “different” than the World around us. It’s a tricky thing, and thank the Lord we have Him to help!
I appreciate your thoughtful take here. I tend not to read posts about “cussing Christians” because they are so often self-righteous on both sides.
I love words, even, and sometimes especially, swear words– you know this. The right words at the right time can have tremendous impact, and I think we have a responsibility to use them with care. I think that, as you intimated, whether a Christian should use certain words depends largely on the convictions God has placed on his/her heart. Perhaps He can use some of us in the world best when we refrain from swear words; perhaps others, when we use them.
I think the important thing in the argument (and I wish it would stop existing as an argument, to be honest) is to respect our brothers and sisters by refraining from judging the particular ways in which they feel led, to stop demanding that our own way is the only right way, and to speak words in love and truth.
I couldn’t have said it better. I love Jesus, but if I feel intense, I’m not Gunna say a watered down version of a word. I don’t believe in using ANY words as filler words, much less cuss words. But Im a woman of no reputation so in the long run, if someone is more offended by my honesty than they are offended by their own heart condition, my point is even further made.
Going to 100% agree with Tamara here.
I assuredly do not swear like a sailor and struggle to be around men/women who do, but dirty words DO make it into my almost-daily vocabulary. Personally, I’m working on it – but that’s just because the Southern belle has been creeping back into my life as I try to be more feminine and ladylike and reflect the beautiful, not the ugly.
I do, however, have always had a very firm rule with myself: Do not use curse words as directed towards someone when you are angry. To me, there’s a HUGE difference between muttering “what the f—” under my breath and shouting “I f—ing hate when you do that!” The former I do a lot, and the latter, never. Inexcusable, in my opinion. It’s not the word, its how we use it.
That being said, I love the verse in Ephesians: “do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up.” I am constantly trying to do more building up and less tearing down. But I see THAT as the struggle, not the struggle to “say this” and “not say that.”
I didn’t drop a “swear word” until I was 20. I was literally 20 years old before the word “s—” “d—” or “f—” escaped my lips in any capacity whatsoever. As a result, I was constantly mentally judging people my entire life for swearing. Not even thinking that I was better than them, just thinking they were pretty terrible people, or pretty terrible Christians. I noticed that as soon as I started having slightly looser lips, all my judgement dissipated instantly. That’s a ridiculous argument in favor of cussing, definitely – but it does point out that it’s SO HARD to not think less of people who behave differently than ourselves. And I’m much more concerned with how I think of other people, than my careless slip of the f bomb when referencing the crack in the sidewalk that tripped me.
ALL MY THOUGHTS. I’m proud of myself for writing them out, haha. <3
As I tell my kids, there are no bad words. Words are simply a jumble of letters. It is how we use the words that gives them meaning and value. There are mean words and hurtful words, as well as kind and loving words.
the well-placed expletive in both literature and dialogue can have a lasting impact. I swear when I write when it’s necessary, and when I smash my finger with a hammer while I’m hanging a picture I say, “s—” instead of “sugar.” However when speaking to another person or when someone else is present, words bring life, but they can also kill. And it is my responsibility as both a husband, a man, and a man of God to do my best to bring life to others. Not death. But even I still fu… screw that up from time to time.
*snort!* Well played.
I couldn’t agree more on the point of how words are used can be more harmful than the words themselves.
I just know that as I struggle to be a better witness for God, I want my actions, words, and attitude to reflect as such.
Words are words. They dissapate as soon as they fall from our lips. But the effect they hold can last forever. And because we Christians are under a more severe microscope than most, I don’t want someone discounting my Christianity simply because I used the same word they did and they’re NOT saved, you know?
I understand this concern. When I began reading Anne Lamott many years ago and noticed (right away, of course) her propensity for swear words, I wondered if she was really a Christian. By part-way through the first book of hers I read, I could tell that she was– her heart was so clearly oriented toward Christ, albeit in a messier, more raw form than I’d ever seen before. With that realization came, for me, great freedom from trying to squeeze myself into a church-lady mold that I was never intended to fit. I have been a more authentic Christian ever since, and I think that, f-bombs or not, most people can see that clearly. Those who discount my faith because of my vocabulary clearly don’t get how big my God is.
But isn’t that just it? If our charge is to reach those who don’t know how big or good our God is, then doesn’t it make sense to act in a way that exemplifies the behavior of Him?
I’m not saying that cussing is good or bad, but if someone who is lost hears us using the same exact language they use (especially in our writing where we do the most “witnessing”), then what’s the point? Where is the difference God has made in our life? Where is that NEW CHANGE we preach so much as Christians?
I can’t cast stones because I cuss as much as any Christian I know. And while I am trying to correct that about myself, I want to feel that those who see me as an example of God, do so without having to wonder if my salvation (or my Christianity for that matter) is real.
Call it legalism or “going to the extreme” or what have you, but something about my own behavior isn’t sitting well with me.
This post was that coming out.
Very aptly written post! Thanks for this! I’ve heard so many debates on both sides, but I love how you bring it back to whether or not you can picture Jesus cussing; and our desires to be more like Him.
I think not cussing is huge for showing the difference Christ has created in our lives. I have never expressed any discomfort around my friends’ cussing, but after a while, they usually tend to ask why I don’t. I even catch my friends stopping themselves and changing their words when they’re talking to me. I think it’s a great sign of a difference in our lives and an awesome opportunity to share why we’ve decided to be different.
Thank you, Rebekah!
Reblogged this on St. Mark's Quiet Time and commented:
Cory has some great points about the language we use and how they portray ourselves as Christians and Christ. It is so true what he says: “How are we being “different” (read: Christ-like) if parts of our behavior are no different than those of someone who doesn’t subscribe to the teachings of Christ?”
Check it out!!!
Dear Cory, you definitely have a point here. I have experienced that through a closer relationship with Jesus, I have had less need to express myself with swear words. It was an inner change tht happened gradually and not much of it was my own intention.
On the other hand, to me, the picture of Jesus as he lived and died was very much human like you and me. He must have had good days and bad days and mistakes and bloopers. I could totally see him at the age of 17 hammering a nail and hitting his finger, and going “ow sh….”.
But I do agree on other posts here, if the word is directed at somebody, then I think it’s a big sin. Our words have immense power. We should wield this power wisely and to the benefit and edification of others.
I use to have a huge problem with cussing mostly beacaue of work, all the curse words every day. But God used one verse to help change my thinking.
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. (James 3:9, 10 NIV)
I absolutely love that verse. Thank you for sharing!
I don’t think Christians should be cussing, not because it’s wrong or anything like that. but 1. because it’s not edifying speech, but only idle words and nothing produces life. 2. because it makes a bad example for the God we serve. God doesn’t go around belittling his lips with words that aren’t holy, neither should we. If you can curse and not be angry or something, than I think it’s fine. Because it’s the words which reflect the heart that you need to worry about. But, if Isaiah asked God to cleanse his lips because he was unclean, we should desire that too. I think we can be used by God, but how much more so would the prophetic utterances be if we had cleansed lips.
I work hard to not swear. I find it vulgar and, oftentimes, for myself, lazy. When I do, if I’m around someone, I immediately feel guilty. Not in the common way, programmed to feel shame over it and that’s why, but in the convicted way, in the I-feel-this-in-my-stomach kind of way and I know I’ve messed up.
Yet, I have a deep respect for my friends, some of whom swear quite often. Moreover, I see profanity as sometimes necessary in context. I’m reminded of Margaret Atwood’s ”Handmaid’s Tale”. There in a chapter in which she goes to some length to explain why the f-word is the right word to use, that no other word would do to convey what was happening, and I found myself nodding emphatically because she was right. Or, to quote a dear professor of mine, ”Save your profanities, they make excellent use when refuting heresy!” Indeed, I have found myself once or twice calling a two-syllable word that starts with b and ends with t on an expression of ”worship” or the like that was blasphemous.
And then there are my characters, my short stories and novels, who oftentimes swear by saying d*** or h*** or even godd*** without realizing there’s a double meaning to it. That when they say godd*** they mean a profanity, but in the context of the story, God is involved in damning.
So to pitch in, to reiterate what a lot of people have already said here, I think context is an important guide. I\’m not one to want to make Christianity any cooler than it isn’t, Lord knows, but I’m not about to throw out dear friends like Tamara over four letters.
Am I wrong in thinking that the majority of what is classified as cussing, or curse words, are actually bywords? There is something more to using curse words than the use of expletives offer. That is, there is a difference in the two. However, like you, I was raised in the church, in the South and we just didn’t do either one, cursing or cussing. I am now living in South America and the folks I’m around, whether in Spanish or Guarani, have no clue what those words mean. It’s colloquial. They have their own “cussing.” In the end it means nothing to me in English. The heart with which these things are spoken is the key component.
If I replace one expletive with the word fridge but I use it with the same malice and ill intent then fridge becomes the new cuss word. I still believe we should be in control of our mouth particularly in reference to our company. This is less about cussing and more about “offending my brother.” I won’t put a link here but you may want to check out a post I wrote for December 2011 called “Authentic is the New Plastic.”
last 2 paragraphs – amazing!!!!
well, I’m also not able to imagine Jesus cursing and if we are meant to imitate Him…
Anyway, I know some christians who has the habbit of “cussing” but by no means I can say these people aren’t godly people.
I think context is important and being such a subjective matter, what claim it as a sin or not a sin is each one conscience. What the Holy Spirit reveals to you? Then hear it! But make sure it is the voice of the Spirit, and not the voice of yourself wanting to keep the your old/wordly habits.
This is what’s been revealed to me: “You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived, but now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage,malice, slander, and filthy language from your
lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Gentile or Jew, (…) but
Christ is all, and is in all.” Col. 3:8-11