Though it seems somewhat elementary, happiness in a relationship is often underrated and perhaps even taken for granted. When we’re fighting or at odds with our partner, happiness can feel a million miles away and as if it may never return. The lack of such a beast may have even led to the demise of one (or more) of our relationships. “I’m just not happy in this relationship with you anymore.” It’s been said to me and slipped from my own lips more times than I care to remember. Happiness: it’s an ingredient that is necessary to make any relationship healthy and vital.
But, if we’re blessed to posses it within the confines of our union, where does it come from? Is it manufactured? Is it something that takes work to create or does it happen organically with little to no effort? If a couple is blessed to posses this fairy of a feeling, who decides when it has left or when it increases? It seems that one of these frustrating questions would hold an answer. But I’ve yet to discover it.
It would seem that happiness in a relationship starts within each individual before being pressed upon the coupled lovers. If I posses happiness within my conscience and you posses your own helping as well, a safe bet would say that we’d have a better chance of being happy together and over a longer period of time. This isn’t a fact nor is it an accepted truth. But it does make a great amount of sense.
I’ve heard it said, “If I could find a man/woman who would love me, then I could be happy.” The error in this line of thinking begins and ends with the one who holds this belief. If you don’t posses happiness within your own self, be it through God, work, life, or even just the very fabric from which you’re built, adding someone to whom you’re accountable and responsible will only muddle what greatness that could lie within the initial spark of your meeting. What could last a lifetime has a very real chance to be ruined before it’s even begun.
Happiness is the initial fiber of everything we glorious humans crave on every level. It’s what causes those soft sighs and big aching grins. Happiness is what we strive to claim for ourselves and those we love. But to share that gift, to make it available to that one love we cherish the most, it must first reside within us.