Dear Future Wife,
Now that I have an inkling of who you are, I feel I can be a bit more specific and direct than I was the first time I wrote you. It’s not to say this entry discredits the last; rather, I wish to add more of the same sentiments so that you’ll know what I feel and hope for you, and for us. Writing to you now, like this, feels like an exercise in humility and faith, because with you, in you, I have been humbled and made to feel whole.
Here are my continued thoughts and feelings written with only you in mind, sweet soul.
I pray my words find you with a smile on your face. Because that certain smile, the one you’ve reserved for me, that smile saves the wayward man and sets the captured free. My, my, my, what beauty you hold in that smile you’ve created just for me.
I wish I could say that you’ll be my first. My first kiss, my first softly-held hand, my first swim in the deepened leagues of made love…but that falls far from the desperate truth. I have very few firsts left. I’ve used them all up on those who were not you, and therefore were not right for all that I gave them. I regret to have so little fresh things to offer you. Instead, if you’ll allow, I’ll give you everything I have left, the rest of me, forever and always. I pray you find that, and me, to be enough.
For the first time, my future has a companion with which to build toward eternity. Never before have I been dealt such feelings of freedom and certainty. But I feel those things in what we have. You’ve set my forever free, and in you, I’ve found my blessed assurance.
Let me make this as sophisticated and classy as I can: babe, morning, noon, or night—and every time in-between—I got you (if you know what I mean). Got it? Good.
You’ve changed me. Before you, I felt as though lonesome was something I could do. Before you, I felt somewhat complacent and “okay”. But now that you’ve become such a large and important part of my life, I realize that there was a hole in me, in my life. It wasn’t a glaring absence, but once you found me, my eyes and heart were opened to the realization that I’d been missing such a massive part of my being without even realizing it. Ignorant to the existence of such bliss, I was missing you.
They say we can’t have everything we want, and for most of my romantic life, this has been true. Again and again, I made concessions and sacrifices in what I wanted or preferred, simply so I would have someone. But with you, there isn’t a single thing I don’t love and ache for. Everything about you is everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner, a friend, a lover, and a soulmate. I hope for hope’s sake that I offer a tenth of the satisfaction you’ve brought to my life.
I believe in you. In all of you. I believe in your dreams, in your talents, in your abilities. You’ve can do anything you set your beautiful mind to, and I count it a blessing to be there beside you to witness it all, supporting you and urging you on. I’m your biggest fan, darling, and I hope and pray and believe you will always succeed. My faith in you is without equal.
My past isn’t one that many women would care to venture. They see the hastened mistakes I’ve made, the hearts I’ve broken, and the tears I’ve caused, and they prefer to stay away. But you saw me for what I am and what I’ll be instead of who I was and what damage I caused. I don’t know why you felt I was worthy of your time, effort, and love, but I cherish the fact that you did and continue to day after day. I promise to earn your love every single day and work for what we have. I pray you never feel the negative scants of being taken for granted. Instead, I hope you forever and always feel as though you are loved, respected, and cared for, because that is what I will always strive to make you feel and experience.
I thank God every day for allowing me to be the man you invest your time and life with. Such a beautiful blessing I don’t even come close to deserving. And yet, I remain thankful.
Until next time, love of my life.